To post an entry...1. Register (click here) You'll receive an email with a confirmation link. If you have previously registered, just click login to post. |
To post a comment...No need to register to add comments after a particular post. To reply to a specific comment,
|
Just a quick note here (not medical) because I am being asked this a lot by sweet caring friends. I have been so blessed with recent loving company, family and dear friends who understand, and are being so supportive in helping me with my quest to learn, to make lots of critical decisions, and to laugh! I think the most important thing is that I know and feel they understand that tho' I am being positive it does not mean I am not scared or I do not need support. I do! And I am comitted to aligning myself with only positive people and positive influences.
My spleen is very uncomfortable, and I am looking for ways to work on that - NOT hydroxyurea. I am awaiting the result of a few more tests that were done on Friday, and I am hopeful that I may be able to get into a clinical trial, perhaps the T-cell one they announced for the leukemia breakthrough. That is my next quest with my doctors.
I do get tired easier than before but am committed to do everything and anything to stop the progression of this.
I have a great "team" and am learning new things nearly daily. So, I am doing OK with a few weak, "Oh Oh" moments that I allow myself, and thats OK. The rest of the time it's - gung ho, take charge of the healing processes.
Thank you for sharing, beautiful one. You have many who are holding you in their arms of love, so you can cry, or share you feelings unafraid, and they will hold you close and comfort you and pray with you. Love heals, and works miracles.
Sweet Thanks! Awwwww, what you wrote is beautiful.
I will get by with a little help from my friends and loved ones. I do feel guilty complaining just a little when others suffer so much, and I am so grateful to those around me and that I have time on my side to "fix" this! Considering the Ecstacy Trial! ;-)
Bijou,
Struggling is part of the process of growing through all things. Without struggle there is not growth. As they say, "the shell must break before the bird can fly".
Know that it is not a sign of weakness that you have tough days. It must all be so confusing. What to do, when, traditional or non-traditional. Old school ways or new trials. As you search and ask and seek and allow the tears and the fears you will find what resonates and that which you are drawn to will serve you well.
I understand how you feel, many of us do.
click on the reply button next to the comment.
Honesty! Feelings - August 21
Feelings - Well just to be honest, as I have been so "cheery" in all my other posts, a friend urged me to say that I had a very hard day yesterday. I was really tired, and my belly ...ugh! And I feel overwhelmed by decisions, yet thankful that none of them are at the critical "life saving point" yet. And I feel guilty in complaining at all because I feel 90% healthy and well and strong, just there are so many decisions added to life's other complicated dealings right now. SO there it is ..bad day yesterday. We all have them, lots of tears, sharings and then..at the end of the day blessings for the compassion and love of two friends that have come forward to "help."
This morning I feel nothing but gratitude for the health I have, and myriad of options available to me and for the stage of late chronic which buys me time to look into those myriad of things. I am blessed and sometimes we just need to let go, have a "wash" of emotions and then it is "all better" in terms of renewed strength and clarity. And to all of those whose struggles are so exponentially much more than mine, my thoughts, prayers and wishes for healing and strength are with you.